I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
