my mouth tastes like poor choices
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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