So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
