haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
