eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...