Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking http://tfl.nu/oxvr
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life! http://tfl.nu/nhg0
  Replies (22) Good night (1221) Bad night (3015) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!! http://tfl.nu/qyaf
  Replies (3) Good night (3285) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious http://tfl.nu/2wct
  Replies (37) Good night (4851) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2
  Replies (27) Good night (5056) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself. http://tfl.nu/3rwg
  Replies (6) Good night (5578) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4871) Bad night (2569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!" http://tfl.nu/bikn
  Replies (2) Good night (3328) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back. http://tfl.nu/cqa8
  Replies (42) Good night (5021) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit. http://tfl.nu/p6mu
  Replies (9) Good night (2120) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10? http://tfl.nu/6lgd
  Replies (9) Good night (1511) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place. http://tfl.nu/5u6t
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else? http://tfl.nu/xvvc
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted. http://tfl.nu/w4vl
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is. http://tfl.nu/ytcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2499) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt

Randomize