i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.