I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have post one night stand depression
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
