Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
