Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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