Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
