You really coming over, don't trick.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
