i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
