He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
