I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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