i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
