R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
