i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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