my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
