Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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