I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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