Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dignity is for republicans.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
