i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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