I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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