oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
