You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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