Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
