youre lurking in front of me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
