Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
