you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize