Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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