He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
