her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
