just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
