3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
