Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
