We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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