well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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