Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
