i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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