I'm lost and stupid without you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
