i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize