And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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