Those balls look pretty dangerous.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
