Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
