Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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