We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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