Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
one might say we're banned from that church
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
