imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
