I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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