If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
