i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
