are you so shy because you have an std?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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