you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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