just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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