Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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