My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
