Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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