So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize