There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
