I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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