It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
