I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
