dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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