Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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