Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you inspire me to be a worse person
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
