Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
