you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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